Days 11-13 [Wedding]: Allow imperfection

Let me just preface this by saying I’m not a perfectionist in any other aspect of my life [other than my wedding]. My house is not always clean, I often leave important details out of things, my desk looks like a tornado ripped through it and nothing is ever where it needs to be. The best way to classify my everyday life? The words chaos and disorder.

One would think that my method of madness would certainly carry over to my wedding. However, that is very far from the truth. When it comes to my wedding, everything has to be perfect. The colors have to match the theme and the venue, the flowers have to match the colors, the cake must be ornately decorated, the wedding party has to look perfect, food has to look balanced and artistic on the plate, not one eyelash can be out-of-place and everyone has to be on their best behavior and have perfect conversations in their perfect outfits. I’m an insane, over worried, crazy stressed  perfectionist when it comes to my day on March 25.

 Although my perfectionism has given me insanely superb organization skills, it’s taken a severe toll on my body, my mind and my sanity.  Trying to be perfect and trying to plan a ‘perfect’ event is exhausting and takes such an exuberant amount of effort to keep up. I’ve already had more mental breakdowns than I should. And trying to keep everyone and everything perfect adds even more stress to my already stressed life. Added stress + constant breakdowns + keeping a facade? That’s an equation for a heart attack or trip to the loony bin. However, it took an outside party to really make me realize that.

straight-jacket.jpg image by CityLightsLover

At work one day, during a weekly touch base with a colleague, I mentioned my “perfect wedding” visions and how it was a lot harder than it seemed. She looked at me and told me, point-blank, that my wedding was not going to be perfect, despite how hard I tried to make it that way. I was a little taken a back and thought “bitch, how dare you, my wedding will be the most perfect event in history!” I think she could tell I was a bit offended so she quickly clarified. [I paraphrased her wonderful words.]

No one has a perfect wedding because no one is perfect. Something will happen, whether it be something like your crazy aunt shows up after she RSVP’s no, or big, like the caterer forgets the cake. Something will happen. That’s just life. You can’t expect it to be perfect or else you’ll beat yourself up over every little thing that happens. Your wedding is a party, a celebration. Just relax and understand that.

 That was EXACTLY what I needed to hear. From a bride who was recently married, she went through the same dilemma. As much as I want my wedding day to be perfect and flaw-free, I know that it will not be. There will evidentially be a slip up, something will go awry, and I need to be prepared to handle that.  You have to prepare for a problem or else you will not know how to handle it. And folks, I’m not perfect. How can I expect this entire day to be? I just need to learn how to relax and let things happen. [Unless someone knocks over the cake, then someone is getting a beat down :)]

One of my “wedding nightmares”

Now, You notice that this mini-lution is more than just one day. Letting go of that perfect idea and my perfect day was hard and I needed to give it more than just 24 hours. I’m a human being and I can’t be expected to just change my way of thinking in a day. I’m no  super hero, after all! Just a girl looking for her happily ever after. And now, I can handle if it doesn’t turn out picture perfect.


~ by therealnutritionist on April 28, 2010.

2 Responses to “Days 11-13 [Wedding]: Allow imperfection”

  1. Everyone will tell you, as they’ve told me, that something *will* go wrong. The first time you hear it you’re like, “Nope! Not at MY wedding. MY wedding will be DIFFERENT.” And then shit starts hitting the fan 9 months, 6 months, 3 months, 3 weeks before your wedding, and you’re like “Ohhh so THIS is what they meant!” I don’t think a bride is ever “prepared” necessarily for something to go wrong, but I think most brides accept the fact that there will be minor (or major) slip ups and as with anything in life, you just have to roll with it and hopefully, eventually, laugh at it. As your bridesmaid, I will do everything in my power to make sure you have a smooth-as-possible running day.

  2. So very true!!! I can’t wait for the big day!!

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